Power Ranking, this time geography
Posted on July 24, 2007 by David
With my best man now in Portland and a friend now in Alaska, there is an even-money chance of my having visited all 50 states by the end of W’s reign of terror. Being in a list-making mood of late [foreshadowing], I thought it’d be a good opportunity to compile a list of my favorite States. But it’s really fucking hard to parse the distinctions, especially since I was under the influence in a majority of them. But somehow being under the influence made it easier to recall my least favorite States, so, after some further ado, here she goes:
1. Ohio–it was 95 degrees in August and I-80 is 300 miles of flat asphalt and McDonald’s. And you have to pay a toll to endure it all.
2. Connecticut–New England’s equivalent of fly-over country, it’s just a speedbump between NY and skiing. Speaking of which, I’ve driven 50,000 miles since I was 18 at an average of about 74 MPH, but only Connecticut has had the gall to ticket me during that time. $300, yeeouch.
3. Maine–You’d've thought my near miss with the law would’ve made Maine a favorite, but starting with those cops, everyone I met there really creeped me out. I left with a deeper understanding of Stephen King.
4. Florida–I guess I could just blame Rehnquist or Nader–and I do in part–but this place, man, it sucks in other ways too.
5. Delaware–I’ve only ever been here on business, and stayed at the garish DuPont Hotel. Many times. Carcinogeous chemical plants own this State it seems. That’s gross.
6. North Dakota–I actually don’t remember anything about our family trip through this State, other than that it was long and uneventful. Hey, how about some events, people?
» Filed Under Diversions, On The Road Again, Statistics
