Mind the Gap

Posted on April 10, 2008 by David

Discover credit cards give cash back, a penny on each dollar spent. When you seek redemption, Discover offers you merchandise instead of cash. $25 of corporate America’s wares for $20 earned, now that is some glorious redemption.

I chose the Gap, because one is near my office. This most recent visit notwithstanding, I believe I can still count on a single hand the number of times I have entered a Gap. I feel fairly confident it will be a long time before I ever need to count on my toes.

I stretched my gift cards on some sale items, meaning I was able to get 4 rather than 3 items I’d've never wanted in the first place. I was just holding 3 of these 4 while waiting in the shamefully long lunchtime line, but I was impelled to grab a pair of boxer shorts by the man in front of me creatively balancing a dozen or more pairs on his forearms.

You see, the Gap was having an underwear sale. My neighbor’s armloads came in about 50% off. Waiting in line, my imagination posed a question I’d never ask: Did he come here knowing about the sale, or did he happily stumble upon this score? My imagination veered between alternative answers a few times, until it didn’t matter anymore: I decided I liked this guy and simply was happy that he was onto such a coup.

But then I began to wonder whether, when he gets home, he throws out all his underwear at once — out with the old — or whether he maybe phases in a few pairs at a time. I have no basis for speculating because I’ve never bought a dozen in one setting. I tend to buy a pair or two, phase them into the rotation, and eventually phase one or two out (by which I mean relegate them to the back of the drawer for years on end). Instead of asking him, of course, I decided to go grab a pair, asking him only to hold my spot in line.

Today, ladies and gentlemen, I wear my first pair of Gap boxers. Truth be told, I wish I’d grabbed about a dozen more.

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